Boundaries

This is an often asked question, "what is okay for me to do or for me to hang out with once I get married?" This is a valid question that requires you and your husband to talk and agree about. I know many couples who join Facebook accounts. I think this is great way that really shows that you two are united and that you share everything together. My husband and I do not have joint accounts but he is not much of a Facebooker and I am not so much either any more but we share with each other all the time when we see something funny or someone commented this on my post. We still include each other in our posts and our messages. The only secret you should ever keep from your spouse is there surprise party or Christmas presents. Facebook is a great way to connect with others and how awesome is it that you can have your spouse be with you as you reconnect. If there is a reason you do not want to tell your spouse about the person you are messaging think to yourself why and would you want your spouse to do the same thing. There has been an increase in Facebook infidelities, when people reconnect with old crushes and boy/girlfriends and then leave their families. I am not saying you cannot have a friendly conversation with old friends, but if you do include your spouse in the conversation and be honest with your spouse. Tell them about the person, you history with them and then ask if they are comfortable. If an old guy friend started messaging me I would show my husband what he is saying and how i am responding. I have nothing to hide. It is best to avoid the temptation and conflict completely, this is why I can see joint Facebook accounts being so nice. Right when you get married you are saying everything I do my spouse knows about it. This is not about a lack of trust, as much as my husband may trusts me he does not trust the guy messaging me and he does not know what his intentions may be. In situations where you do have a close friend that is the opposite sex you must remember your spouse should be your BESTEST friend. To those single people who are worried about losing their best friend when they get married, do not think of it as losing a friend but gaining a new one! Your spouse should be the person you confide in and never talk negatively about him to any of your girl or guy friends, or mothers. Lady's, I don't know aout you but I know I would tell my mom everything. She was the person I could talk to about anything, relationships, school, religion. And I still talk to my mom about so much stuff, but I do not talk to her about marital conflict. I know my mom would always pick my side and I never want her to have a reason to feel negative towards my husband. Often times we tend to talk only about what is troubling, we rarely call back and tell them the solution and how super in love we are with our husband. Something I really appreciated from my mother in law was that she told us to never come to her about an argument. We are both her children now and she will not pick sides. What is troubling you two is up to you two to fix. This helps us work and problem solve together and figure things out as a couple. Each marriage is unique and going to other couples will not always benefit your marriage, what works for one may not work for the other. You two are in this thing together and communicating and being honest with each other will help you make and stay within your boundaries.